Adoogen - Lovable yet Lethal
   If you haven't seen Excel Saga, you haven't lived. Excel Saga is easily one of the funniest animes ever. It stars a girl named Excel and her lovable emergency food supply, Menchi. All through out the series Menchi has taken a fair amount of abuse, and now he tries to get help in this fanfic.

In a town far far away, Menchi gathers with other abused animals and characters in anime. Menchi goes down the hallway to look for his self-help class, and sees the previous class just finish. Shinji and Tuxedo Mask leave as Menchi looks at the sign.
Menchi "Necrofiliacts? (means to have sex with dead people) sickos... but in a way I’m not surprised."
Menchi walks in to see a group of other disturbed anime animals; of course there's the cat from Trigun, Ryo-ohki from Tenchi, and even Pen Pen because who could live with Shinji and not get screwed up. The leader was Quatre, who believed talking about your problems is the best way to solve things. But usually Trowa breaks in halfway through the meeting and they hold hands and disappear into a dark room for half an hour.
Pen^2 "I'd just like to remind everyone that after this there is a meeting for sufferers of bestiality. (sex with animals) So I suggest we get out of here as fast as we can. I think we can all still remember last week when they caught Artimis (from Sailor Moon) I'm sure we remember his cries for help, but he took one for the team."
Menchi "All right, who should we execute this week to relieve our stress?"
Pen^2 "I say we should kill Kenny from South Park."
TriCat "Meow"
Menchi "Damnit we can only kill him so many times! Pick someone else!"
Ryo-ohki "A'ight, we gunna take out Sasami, she keeps makin' moves on my man."
Menchi "Are you talking? Don't talk, don't even think of it. I thought we kicked you out of the club awhile back."
Ryo-ohki "That's what I wanted you to think"
TriCat "Meow"
The lights flicker off and a gunshot is heard. Lights turn on and Ryo-ohki is dead.
Menchi "So anyway I say we take out all the American Dubbers, they only total about 20 and I doubt they could put up a fight.
TriCat "Meow!"
Menchi "Hey! Watch the language Kitty! Don't make me beat you like a runaway slave!"
Pen^2 "You say that every meeting and you usually go home crying"
Menchi "ALRIGHT! That's it!"
Menchi whips out an M-16 and wipes out the entire room and leaves panting. Suddenly the noises and voices in the other room stop and Quatre comes out.
Quatre "What have you done?! Please, I know you're having a reality crisis with the fact that you look like a cat but it'll be all right, violence is never the answer."
Menchi "I'm a dog damnit!!!!!!!"
He fires a round at Quatre and finishes him off easily. His next target, The Anime Club at North Rivers Mall. Meanwhile at the anime club Matt, Cory and Josh were having a debate over which anime character could eat the most. Then Menchi broke in through the wall but no one seems to notice. Menchi first killed some unnamed kid who sits in the corner that won't be considered a character in this fanfic. This caught a few people's attention, while most people kept watching some Lupin Movie, Josh, Matt, and Cory jumped into action.
Matt "I'll be the first one to go. Using my huge knowledge of DBZ I shall defeat him. Muwhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
As Matt was charging up, Menchi got bored and shot a few rounds into him, and that was the end of Matt.
Josh "I'll go second. Using my huge knowledge of NGE I shall defeat him. Now, the first impact was the creation of the first Olsen twins movie, the second was-"
Menchi got bored of this too, and pumped him full of lead.
Cory "Pi shalln't be defeated so easily. Fess up to the number blast! 33333333333333......11111111114444444411111111555999...2?6? or wait maybe it was 296... noooo! I haveth forgotten!."
This time Menchi just felt sorry for Cory and let him off with a quick death. The rest of the anime club got up to test their might but all perished.
Two years later Menchi was finally taken down with some vigilante justice but not after the many deaths of millions of lovable otakus. The morale of the story today is that killing is the best way to relieve stress, and also otakus can't put up much of a fight : ( sorry, but we can't.

second note, umm, don't kill people

Recap::
Shinji is gay
Gundam W has been defiled w/ too much gay reference
The cat in Trigun well never say more then just 'Meow'
Menchi has a hidden past...
Menchi does look like a cat
It's hard remembering pi, and even more boring trying
Too many otakus die to rampaging animals every year